The Krusty Krabs

Im tired...very very tired...

3 months have passed, 3 projects have been submitted, 1 more project due in 2 weeks time...Exams in 3 weeks time. School, work, school, work, off, off, school, work............. 2 years and 9 months to go till the completion of the diploma. Then it's on to the advanced diploma and a bachelors degree. In total, it will take about 5 and a half years...

I am physically and mentally strained from all of these factors. I really need a break, a new source of motivation. Lately I have been feeling very depressed, very disappointed with myself, yet eager to know and understand myself even better. Not only are these taking a toll on me, I have been told that I lack the EQ that is common in most people...I'll touch on that some other day.

Past events at work, home and at school has taught me a valuable lesson in life. In order to lead a successful, well managed life, priorities have to be set and none of the prolonged commitments such as work, studies, hubbying and parenting should be overdone.

An easy example would be, too much time spent at work or bringing work home can be very unhealthy especially when home time is usually meant for parenting and hubbying, communicating and making love as and when the need arises. Another example would be too much school related activities would stray you from you desired work output. Work less, underperform yourself and you will see that you are not rewarded well enough for your effort. Work too much and ignore your studies, will lead you  to lose your sponsorship...

Hope you understand the dilemma I am going through. I am now on a journey to try and have equal proportions of all my long term commitments namely, work, studies, parenting and hubbying. However, it leads to another problem and sacrifice - personal time with friends. Is such a sacrifice worth it to achieve a desired objective? Time will tell but if one thing is for sure, this too must be done in equal proportions.

Satay Session...Yummy!

Today while at school, we were being taught an interesting topic by the law lecturer. The topic this week was about divorce and how the proceedings went by, what governs family law and etc. My classmates were very busy talking about consumation and non-consumation of marriage may lead to a voidable divorce proceeding. Everyone had a blast of course, including the lecturer. What do you expect when you have a room full of guys and a handful of girls. I forgot to mention that about 80% of the guys are married...

Of course if we were to strictly focus on the topic being discussed, we would turn out to be some studious freaky nerd, wearing thick eyeglasses and donning a out of fashion apparel. The other hot topic was of course 'Satay'. Many arguments were being held by the guys and me. Arguments ranging from which satay stall is the best in Singapore, what type of satay is the best and what type of sauce goes with the satay. This of course stirred up a storm in my stomach. Not only did I have breakfast, while at school, I was offered by a classmate to join them for dinner, which I politely refused. Perhaps a part of me knew that I would be wolfing like 15 sticks of charcoal grilled meat...

The moment class ended and armed with a wealth of knowledge about divorce and of course satay, I gave a call to wifey and zoomed back home on my other darling, my Yamaha FZ1 Fazer. Riding home was a breeze. I fetched wifey and we zoomed down to Upper Bukit Timah. There lies a row of 24 hour restaurants waiting to serve its customers. Being muslims, our variety is very limited but nevertheless, we were very grateful with 'Al-Azhar' restaurant. The place was jam packed with people from all walks of life. I had only one intention and that was to try the satay described by my colleagues. We found a seat and was promptly attended by a server.

The menu was like a prospectus report. There were varieties of food all conveniently placed in multiple pages of the menu. From North Indian to Western, from Indonesian style cooking to BBQ stingray. I would have to say, all of the items reflected in the menu seems delicious enough to try all of them. Flip the menu all the way to the rear and you find yourself staring at the various satay meals available. Wifey and me ordered our food and waited till the arrival of the succulent, juicy, charcoal grilled pieces of meat stuck in pieces of bamboo sticks for easy consumption.

Wifey was of course taken aback by the series of events. For a start, we have not been dating for a very long period of time. Secondly, my decision to ask her out to dinner was unplanned and impromptu. Which then started with her asking all sorts of questions. God damn it... I am not cheating on you, I am just hungry... for pieces of meat dipped in peanut sauce. As I have mentioned before, our conversation was limited and I aim to do something about it cause I value what I have and I want to make our marriage a success. We talked, ate, talked somemore, ate somemore and before you knew it, we spent like one and a half hours there, talking and eating. What a fruitful session this was. I was happy that I could spend time with her, she was happy for the free ride and meal. But I guess she was happier for the effort that I put in; by asking her out for a meal and talking about stuff.

Stomachs have been filled, eyes getting droopier from the past day events and the people are slowly diminishing away. Time to go home then. I went to my other love, switched her on  and before you knew it, we were back in our home. Wifey is of course asleep rite now. She's so tired, she fell asleep in the living room, her MAC makeup she has forgotten to wash off. Man, she's gonna get pimples for that and of course stain the beige colour sofa. I am getting sleepy as I typed this article. Tomorrow is another day, but for now, good nite everyone...pleasant dreams of SATAY...

What drives you to do what you do in life?

Great question for all who read this... Personally, to be self driven, self motivated and goal oriented are traits of successful, accomplished people. Traits that can be acquired rather than born with. These traits are not hereditary nor are they miraculously given by God. These traits are acquired through one's journey, through one's personal experience in overcoming the numerous obstacles life throws at us.

What drives you then? Is it the guarantee of success through a job well done? Is it the promise of greater money through self achievement? Is it the presence of a good supervisor who is always present when you have doubts, guiding you along the correct path to a successful career? Or is it the handsome guy or the attractive girl at your workplace/school, whose very presence just makes you smile with glee...?

What drives me? Looking at my horoscope (Capricorn), there are numerous traits that I have to agree best describes me. I am trying to be humble here of course and I am not boasting nor am I blabbering about how good a person I am. But when you always get comments from friends, relatives, family members and colleagues telling you that these traits are present in your system, you just can't help thinking about it. Does this inadvertantly affect how you react to things? Does praises change how a person behaves? Or are these just a form of reverse psychology, used by the correct person at the appropriate time to get a person to react differently, to accomplish a certain goal?

Being in the same job, doing repetitive tasks, handling different types of encounters, moving up the corporate ladder from a meagre nobody to a somebody, gaining the respect and admiration from fellow colleagues, getting rewarded and recognition given to me by my supervisors...Hey, it ain't half that bad right?

Alright these repetitive tasks can take a toll on you, but if you tackle them and input 100% or 110%, you will feel great no matter how daunting the task may be. I love challenges. Of course, don't expect to see me in an insect eating contest or any of that 'Fear Factor' stuff. What I meant are personal challenges, not psychological games to gain fame and fortune.

Self satisfaction is the key. You need to have the mindset that what you do or what you have provided not only satisfies your customer but also yourself. Words spreads around faster than e-mails. Soon a majority of the people or your potential future customers would have come to know about what you have done and will be seeking you out. Once in a while, you will receive a valuable feedback recognising you for the effort you have put in but do not expect to be rewarded or commended for what you have done. It defeats the whole purpose as I believe you will be tackling your tasks for a common objective and that is to sell yourself, publicly advertising about your capabilities.

What drives me then?? Personal satisfaction and the promise of success through hardwork and determination... Quite a mouthful if you might say so, or is it more of a boastful remark. I do not know, maybe you out there who knows me can decide what drives me. For the moment, I am contented with what I have, how my life is run, what I am going through and what I would want to achieve at the end of it. For all of you out there, do not despair, rather persevere. I wish all of you success in finding your own personal drive. I am cruising at the moment, no gear shifting required...

Choices...decisions...

I am feeling troubled at the moment. I have to make several decisions that will inadvertantly affect how I run my life, how I approach life's complex angles and cope with the new responsibility that presents itself

The choices that we make can affect us drastically. The wrong choice will lead to a disastrous conclusion. Lately, work has been  bogging my mind, as I have mentioned before in my previous blog, to juggle between work, studies, relationship and parenting is not easy. The decision that I have to take involves my career and I am not sure if the choice I make will help me as a whole or will be the pinaccle of my downfall. Then again, I love challenges and for the past 8 years, being in the same department, doing repetitive tasks, encountering different personalities has really taken a toll on me.

What guarantees do I have if I am making the correct decision or whether I am taking the right route to success and personal accomplishment. Who can determine if I am capable for the new post or whether I will flourish from the new added responsibilities assigned to me by my new supervisor?

I am having a headache right now, a splitting one and I do not think that a panadol will be suffice...I can only hope for the better.

Studying, Working, Parenting, Hubbying...it ain't easy

It's been ages since I last scribbled anything useful on my blog site. I have been very busy with lots of stuff. As some of my close friends know, I was overweight, weighing at 86kgs for a person whose ideal weight should be 64kgs. Falling sick often, feeling tired and breathless and constantly eating junk food was very common for me. Things took a turn for the better.

Nearing the end of the year 2007 sometime in the month of November, I started exercising. Well it wasn't really hardcore exercising but I started small. I could not run for all I could remember. The last time I was very fit and active was in the year 2004. Back then, I was training my body for a different objective in life, trying to achieve the unachievable. Eventually, marriage caught up with me and I took life slower. Poof.... Before you knew it, I erupted into a fatso, my clothes were oversized, my cheeks were flabby, and my fart stinks (it still does nowadays, whose doesn't). I started by taking walks, then slow short distance jogs and before long, exercise became an enjoyable thing to do.

With determination and great sacrifices, I achieved my goal. Now, I am lighter, weighing in at 74kgs, wearing a size 32-31 pants, wearing a size 15 1/2 shirt size and feeling great. Of course, it doesn't stop there. I have set my mind in achieving a good physique, of course to impress myself and my wifey. I have also taken on the undaunting task of taking up a part time study course. This is the most challenging thing that I have taken up so far. It is not easy to do all these things at once. Time management is not an easy factor that most of us can overcome. What with commitments and responsibilities entrusted to us as human beings.

So here I am, working and studying, being a husband, being a father, not seeing my lovely daughter for a week, only seeing my wife for a brief moment, conversing with her not more than 30 minutes a day, doing my homework, answering work related calls...the list goes on and on. Last night, I had a fruitful session with my wife. For the 1st time, we were having a very good discussion session. We discussed about what causes a relationship to break down, why men tend to stray away without ever thinking what the women wants, why the little things that we do, the ones that we see as unimportant can affect the people around us greatly.

I for one do not know how I will try to change and adapt to these situations. Three months have passed since I started studying but when I look back in time, I have been married for 4 and a half years, a father to a lovely daughter for the past 3 and a half years and I manage to do well. I worked hard so that my family enjoys the riches that I bring back to them and I persevere to get through life's obstacles. This is a challenge that I have to endure for the next 3 years and I hope that my family stays behind me for the ride.

Four years and still going strong

Oh no, the month of September is just around the corner and I am not prepared to face it. Why you may ask? Cause my wedding anniversary falls on that month and after 3 years plus of being married, we have never celebrated our anniversary, valentines day or any other non important days, except birthdays of course. I have to admit that every anniversary marks a milestone for me. It shows that I've survived the perils and turmoils found in a marriage. Of course there is good in marriages. If not, we would be living in a society filled with gay men and women, couples who refuse to have any commitments tied down to a certificate and couples who co-habit together but have children at the same time. Weird huh, but this is already happening right now.

Marriage is pure and sincere. It is a symbol of two parties getting together for the right reasons, going through thick and thin, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part; as the saying goes. Of course if the marriage could not be sustained, then comes divorce. In my previous blog titled 'Nothing lasts forever so don't take things for granted', it depicts how difficult it is for a couple to go through divorce. Divorce is the option that isn't an option at all. Confused?? Most seek it as the only solution but it should be the last resort if the marriage could not be salvaged. Some go through counselling sessions to help patch their lives together again. These sessions help them voice out their problems to each other so a clearer picture is painted and finally coming to a consensus resolution to solve the problems together.

Four years on, I look back and thank god for all the achievements I have attained throughout the years. Who would have told me that I would be a parent at the tender age of 23. Although it restricts me a whole lot more than I would have imagined, I managed to survive three years of being a parent and am looking forward to more years to come (and a couple more please wifey...heheheh. One is not enough). Furthermore, when I see my three year old daughter, I remembered all the trials and tribulations we faced together. Nothing beats the tremendous amount of satisfaction and accomplishment we've felt. Being a sole breadwinner is tough but it is even tougher to be the 'Ministress of Home Affairs'. That role is for wifey of course and there are still three vacancies available. If you have forgotten, a muslim man can marry up to four wives (Wifey, you know that I'm joking right..)

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine asked me how I met my wife and I narrated to him. Well here goes nothing. I was schooling then and I have been eyeing this particular gal who was also eyeing me. Wifey was not on the list as we were just friends back then. Subsequently after a couple of dates with that gal, things started to go wrong. Not only was I being duped, I was also dumped like a broken old rag doll. Someone suggested that I dated wifey which I thought was totally not right as I felt that she was a better friend than a girlfriend. What the heck, tried it anyway and sparks blossomed from then on. I popped the question to her one day when we went jogging and she replied to me about two weeks later when she accompanied me for one of my skateboarding sessions. Took her that long to decide back then as I guess she has other suitors waiting in line. Since then, we have been a couple and remained a couple till this day. Who would have thought that she makes a better friend and also a good companion. Of course along the way, there were a few minor hiccups but we came through and finally penned our commitment to a certificate that signifies us as husband and wife, Wifey also gave birth to one of our offspring, signifying a brighter future to look forward to and many many years more together... ;)

Today, I helped bond a family together and I'm proud of it...

The title speaks for itself and I am glad that I did what I did. Of course, I wasn't around long enough to know what happens next. Whether the squabbles stopped and everybody made peace or it goes back to square one is another issue to ponder...

We all argue and quarrel everyday. Sometimes over petty issues such as what food to eat or which colour is nicer. If a family constantly bickers and argues all the time, communication is ineffective. How often has this happened, you ask yourself. When was the last time that you had a meal together with your whole family where everyone ate and chatted merrily? Communication is a two way process and for it to be effective, one party has to listen while the other speaks and vice versa. When the message is effectively brought across, only then can we say that communication was successful. So what happens then if both parties wants their views and opinions heard?? Simple, communication did not take place and important information did not go through. Messages are left dangling and problems that were surfaced were never solved.

To cut a long story short, it happened today when parents of a 14 year old teenage boy could not communicate effectively with their child. Their only thought was to send the boy away to a reformative training centre in the hope that this would change him either for the good or for the worse. Of course, this was the only alternative ever present in the parents mind at that point in time. However, I was entrusted the opportunity to intervene and given the power and responsibility to try inflict change into the situation.

When the older generation meets with the younger generation, a problem arises. That problem is evidently known to every one as a 'generation gap'. Although this could not be used as an excuse everytime there is an argument, this problem is ever present. It is very hard to bridge the gap between those who were born in the 1940s to 1950s and those born into the internet age. Adults at that point in life were not particularly au fait with gadgetry and technology. World wide web was developed by the US army and it soon sparked a whole new generation of youths. I'm one of them okay.

Both affected parties were able to communicate effectively and were able to do it in a sensible, non hostile manner. I was glad that I managed to convince them that blood is thicker than water, that whatever adversities we are faced each day, we are able to handle and overcome it as a family. Certain issues such as famine, wealth, care and concern were also injected in the communication process. With this, the teenager who all this while has been thinking that his life is full of problems becomeS the most fortunate teenager amongst his peers. I guess I touched a sensitive nerve up there through his thick stubborn skull. From then on, it was smooth sailing and I very much enjoyed the whole process.

However, I did not expect that with the success, came an overflow of tears. Oh my gosh... What have I done. Were those tears of joy or tears of resentment?? At the end of my day, by rendering any forms of assistance to people who deserved helping, be it rich or poor, young or old, black or white, it just made my day better. It reminded me why I did what I did and just how important it is for me to try empathizing and sympathising for the affected parties. With that said and done, I am off to continue doing what I love doing best and to try to learn more and more from these personal experiences as the days go by...

EPL is back for good...

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to watch most of the EPL matches that was shown on the new channel provided by my cable operator. The last game of the season was played on the 11th May 2007 and it was between Chelsea and Manchester United. It was a hot affair whereby both clubs have been neck to neck outwitting each other for the ultimate prize in English football; to be the Premier League Champions. Manchester United have done it 17 times, 9 times under their current manager Sir Alex. Chelsea have done it 4 times, twice under my favourite manager and idol Mr Jose "The Special One" Mourinho.

The new season promises to be an interesting one. Many clubs have refurbished their squads and their looks. A few promoted ones looked promising on the first game of the season. It is still too early to predict anything at this moment but with 37 more EPL matches coming in these next few months, you can bet that it will be an exciting one. For these past 3 months, my Saturdays and Sundays at home have been rather boring. Sporting programmes airing on the sports channels focused on Golf, Tennis, Baseball, Motorsports and etc. Football was gone. For 3 months, many testosterone filled men had to 'fast' and keep their minds occupied with other stuff that tickles their fancy. Eversince I had the opportunity to watch football on cable tv, my life has never been the same.

As a kid, I loved the sport. Unfortunately, I am not one of those gifted people who can dribble or juggle a ball well so I had to opt for an alternative. As I grew up into a teenager, I knew little about the footballing world. There was always one team that was over mentioned and every Singaporean is a die hard fan of. That team in particular is Manchester United. My elder brother swears his life for this team, has many jerseys worn by the players over the many seasons. Mention anything bad about his team and I'll get a tongue lashing so bad, it makes my ears clogged up. Even now when we both have become parents, we'll never stop arguing about football. This passion is even found in my workplace and the fan base there is tremendous.

I do not want to say that I hate the club that so many others love (recorder is referring to Manchester United) but I just do not see any reason why I should support them. I do not want to be one of the majority but I'd rather be one of the minority. Why let people decide for you who you want to support? Each of us are born into this world and are faced with many choices for us to choose, my choice is to support Chelsea FC and that is final.

I can't wait for more footballing action in the months to come. One thing to note is that Manchester United played against Reading on the first game of the season and they drew 0-0. What's worse was that they were the champions last season and pressure got to them. Adding insult to injury, Sunderland, a newly promoted team managed by their former captain Roy Keane is above them. I checked on some footballing statistics and discovered that teams who pick up the Charity Shield do not go on to win the Premier League. Manchester United won a total of 10 times in the past and added one more to their record on 5th Aug 2007 when they faced Chelsea and won the Charity Shield. In fact, many teams regard the trophy and the competition a jinx. However, the only team to win the Charity Shield and go on to win the Premier League was Chelsea and that was done in 2005. Some facts to share with all the football fans out there...Cheers and enjoy your weekends!!

Oh no, wifey fell sick and I have to do all the housework...

After working for more than half a year, a check was made on the amount of leave I have yet to consume. It didn't dawn on me that I have been to busy with work that I did not manage to go for a short break. My idea of a short break would be a ride up to KL on my motorcycle with my friend Faieruz. Unfortunately, that is just a mere thought so I am forced to spend the two weeks of leave at home.

I would have loved to go overseas with my family, maybe head over to Phuket and laze around all day at the beach, enjoying massages from the masseuse and just rest my feet. Well, since my leave was a rather unplanned one, it is just not possible to make the necessary arrangements in such short notice. My darling wifey unfortunately fell sick sometime last week and I pity her so much. In the family, me and my daughter are prone falling sick to a simple cold, cough or flu. Wifey has antibodies that can fight off all illnesses. The last time she fell sick was about two to three years ago. Wow!! That's a very long time man...

She fell sick on a Wednesday night and refused to go see a doctor the next day despite me persuading her to do so. Little did it dawn on me that by her falling sick, I would have to assume the 'mommy' role in this household and by that it means loads of chores and caregiving. For a start, that night when she fell sick, I had to tuck my daughter to bed. Next comes preparing my daughter's clothes and back pack for school the next day. After all that was done, it was sleep time. I forced myself to sleep but it was just not possible as I usually slept very late. Thursday was a tiring day for me. I had to wake up early, shower my daughter, prepare her for school, prepare breakfast, leave home by 8.15am and arrive at her school by 9.00am. Next, buy some breakfast for myself, head home and do chores comprising of cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the house, wash the laundry and etc. I ain't no Jamie Oliver so I had to buy food for myself. My home ain't no pig sty but when I actually started doing the chores, I wonder how wifey was able to do the job effortlessly without any complaints. My routine was the same for Friday and by Saturday, I was back at work after a long break.

Sometime in the month of April, I did blog about how important our wives are in this life. Without them, it is just impossible to maintain a proper well kept household. I was so tired by Friday and I was glad that wifey began to recover from her illness. I complained a lot during these two days which is quite common of me but I took time and self reflected on how she manages to overcome all the complaints as she painstakingly tackled chore by chore. To my wifey, I value the contributions and relentless sacrifice that you have put in this family ensuring that everything goes in order, your two lovelies are well fed and groomed and taken care of. Without you, I sometimes wonder how I can go on with my life day by day. I love you very much. Muuuuaaah!!! (From hubs...)

I can't smell a thing....

Sigh... These past few days, I've had a very bad flu. Kept using up all the tissues available at my home. Having a cold is a bad thing as it can also trigger other medical problems such as asthma, sore throat, coughs and etc. I think I contracted the flu from a friend of mine when we went for a course together(if you are reading this, you know who you are ;p )

Yesterday, wifey bought a 'De-humidifier' thingy. This device is supposed to emit good clean smells, depending on the type of oil that you put into it. So, she's very happy with the thingy and the smell of lavender. She says it smells nice and kept asking me to try and smell it. Excuse me, have you forgotten that I have lost my sense of smell. Well, this flu is really bothering me and I have got to go see a doctor about it. I'll postpone it to Monday then.

By the way, wifey told me that the salesperson (or more likely a sales auntie) said that the thingy is not called a 'De-humidifier' but a 'humidifier'. ??? A what?? I believe as a salesperson, you should know about the product that you are selling and be able to answer questions posed by the potential customers. Not make a baseless comment such as ," Singapore don't sell de-humidifier, only got humidifier!" I can't believe she actually told wifey that. Even my workplace has a few of these things. If it were me, I'd tell her off and explain to her the differences about humidifiers and de-humidifiers. She's lucky that I was having a conversation with my wifey's cousin and I wasn't listening to her sales speech.

Bottomline here is that I still can't smell a thing, not even my fart and it irritates the hell out of me. I should have gone for a flu shot as suggested by the good nurses of Yishun Polyclinic. That's what happens when you don't listen to people but listen to your own self. Serves me right to get the flu...